You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
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I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
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The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
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Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.